Are you being internaughty?

Sorry It's been a while! Things were crazy! What? They could have been. I could have done a ton of crazy stuff over the summer. Fiiiine. The point is, regardless of what I may or may not have done over the summer, I'm back into a routine and my aim is to upload a new blog post every week. Don't laugh. I said it was an AIM.

So the internet is like the craziest thing ever when you think about it. I mean it's amazing. We can connect to thousands even millions of people all across the world at the click of a button. We can tell people what we think and make our opinions heard. We can even tell celebrities what we think of them! So much fun, right?!

The problem is that with great power comes great responsibility. Yes, I just did that. The issue with being able to speak so freely online is that some people view it as a chance to say things they wouldn't say to a person's face. And unfortunately, it's not always good things. If you have Twitter, Facebook or even scroll through comments on a YouTube video you will see some pretty shocking things. Death threats, name-calling and violent words are often used against people that 99% of the time have done nothing wrong. A sad fact of today's world, certainly for celebrities, is that even dating someone that is adored by millions can make you a target for hatred. Falling in love with someone can now turn you into public enemy number 1 for some people.

People hide behind anonymous names and avatars to say whatever they want. And because they're not saying it in person, they don't think it matters. They don't care because there are no consequences. Anonymity is the enemy of the internet. It allows people to hide behind computer screens and slip into a fictional world where what they say has no effect on the person they're saying it to. But what's forgotten is that the people with the millions of pounds, fancy cars, mansions and legions of fans also have feelings. I know, it's shocking.

They do read these and they do get hurt no matter what their background or current life situation. And obviously it's not just celebrities that have to deal with this kind of thing. Cyber bullying has become a massive issue in recent times and unfortunately it seems to be getting worse. People have committed suicide over being bullied online. There is no escape. If you are bullied by people in real life, the internet doesn't offer refuge because now people use it to verbally attack and threaten others.

 

Jimmy Kimmel turned it into something funny, of course with his 'Celebrities Read Mean Tweets' series which I suggest you YouTube if you haven't already. But the main point I want to make is that before you let your emotions get the better of you and spout a lot of hatred to some undeserving soul online, go outside, get some air and calm down. Punch a cushion if it helps. But just start thinking about what you're saying to people before you let your fingers start erratically typing. And if you're just doing for the fun of it then enjoy karma!

And if you're struggling with cyberbullying just know that you're not alone and there are people out there who can help you. And ultimately remember it's not your fault. The person who's doing it is the one with a problem, not you. And on a side note, I recommend everyone watches the film below when they have the time as it gives a sad but accurate portrayal of what kind of effect cyberbullying can have on


someone. (Sorry, it's in parts).

It is a vicious world and not for those of the faint of heart. It's sad that today even regular Joes who want to start making YouTube videos have to expect hatred. It's like preparing yourself for war. As soon as you start putting content out there you have to expect to be judged and hurt. You, for whatever reason, are chosen as someone's virtual punching bag. It's sad some people can't respect and support others. That people should expect to be hated on just for expressing themselves. Even I myself, was verbally attacked on Twitter for sharing a post on feminism. Welcome to the 21st century everyone!

This is an interesting video by my favourite YouTuber Bree Essrig which I wanted to include as she is the target of a lot of online hatred. Take what you will from it, but I'm going to leave you with it to end this post.

Until next time, think before you type!

Jeni x

 

 

One small twerk for woman, one giant twerk for womankind.

Miley Cyrus is about as controversial as they come. Whether it was the now infamous VMA performance with Robin Thicke where she twerked dressed as a teddy bear or her licking a sledge hammer like a lollipop that caught your attention, you can't deny she knows how to make headlines.

But look past the licking, twerking and the weed-smoking and what do you have? A young, self-assured woman striding forward in the music industry and breaking down barriers. 

Back in her "Hannah Montana" days (excellent show to this day) she was considered the ultimate role model. She was essentially America's sweethart and embodied everything that parents wanted their young daughters to aspire to. Now? Not so much. After staying under the radar for a while after "Hannah" she came back like we'd never seen her before. She ditched the long brown locks that had captured the heart of a nation and chose a punky, short blonde cut that spoke volumes. It wasn't just the end of "Hannah" it was the end of Miley as we knew her. With a new look came a new attitude. And boy, was it loud. She cussed like a sailor, drank like a sailor and spoke endlessly about her love of marijuana. This wasn't the Miley who put on a blonde wig, sang a song about friendship and learned a heartfelt and meaningful lesson a the end of a 20 minute show. This was a Miley who twerked, partied, stuck her tongue out at every available opportunity and as we would later discover, gyrate on top of giant inflatable penises. 

But that's the whole point. The Miley we "knew" was all assumptions we'd made based on a character she portrayed in a Disney television show. It wasn't really her. Underneath the bubblegum-pop good girl shine had long been an edgy, foul-mouthed, rough-around-the-edges pop starlet who was capable of conquering the charts, in her own name, as well as the world. And, if you don't mind me adding; our hearts.

This bad girl had been suffocated for years and now that she was finally allowed to escape she was going to make a grand entrance.

So for months we saw controversy after controversy pile up against the global superstar while the world of social media weighed in at every opportunity. After the VMA's she was the subject of cruel jibes online about her body and the way she looked. But really I think that says more about the pathetic mentality of the general public than it does about her. Also that performance was the most tweeted about on the night so who's really winning?

I think I'm starting to digress a little. We all know Miley could be described as a number of things. One thing you may not bank on is that I see her as a good role model for women. Whether you like the way she goes about it or not Miley is at the top of her game and is now one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. And while it would be easy to say she is just the manufactured product of the shrill music industry it would be a false statement to make. You just have to watch her documentary "Miley: The Movement" to see that she has the final say when it comes to all the major decisions about her career. She chose "We can't stop" as the lead single of her album which she had to fight for. It went to number 1. She co-directed her 'Bangerz' world tour. She co-designed the costumes for the tour. She co-wrote the majority of songs on her album. She plans out all her performances and rehearses endlessly until she perfects them. 

She is a woman in charge. 

Whether you like what she's doing or not you have to admire her work ethic. She is unstoppable. And as far as her "scandalous" performances go, yes they are highly sexualized. But does that make them bad? She is exploring her sexual freedom. She is an independent, confident, smart, successful woman who can stand up to the best in the music industry today. If she twerks in little more than a thong and bra is she demeaning herself or is she empowering herself. She is not being objectified by men. She is self-confident in the way she looks. She looks good and she's not afraid to show it. So why, are we as people so inclined to tear each other down and destroy each other's self-esteem? Why is it when women particularly are self-assured and in control we have to take them down a peg? Why can't we support them?

                              Surely a woman who is confident and in charge should be respected.

Whether she twerks or not. She should be considered a good role model. She's leading the charge of women taking over the music industry. Role models should not be defined by having a squeaky-clean image but by what message they spread. And to the unobservant eye it appears as if Miley is just promoting partying. But if you really look close you'll see she is promoting the empowerment of women and people in general. She wants us to see that we can do anything we set our minds to. That we should live for ourselves and not worry about what others think of us. And she knows what she is doing for women as a self-confessed feminist. Feminism isn't about covering up and having to act like we're in the Victorian ages. It's about being treated equally to men. So when a woman is judged for singing about sex but a man isn't it makes me angry. Women shouldn't hate each other. 

She is not perfect. Even if you don't agree with everything she does at least be proud there's a woman out there owning herself and a stage, making her own money and carving her own path. 





And Miley is a good role model because she as a woman, is self-assuredly taking on the world and winning. And she is looking damn fine as she does it. 

Lots of blog love,
                      Jeni x




Fun side note: count how many time I used the phrase "self-assured" in this post!

Be my BFF (Best Fictional Friend)?!

So I watch a lot of television. I know. Shocking. But recently I've been finding myself feeling like a character on a TV show or wanting to be like one. At first, I thought this was quite sad. But then I realized it's not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to model your life off a TV character. 

Most recently it occurred when I was watching 'The Big Bang Theory' and I found myself relating to 'Penny'. She was a bit of a mess. She didn't know how her life had gotten to where it had. She was angry that her plans and dreams hadn't worked out. She couldn't understand where she had gone wrong. Now, not to get totally depressing because I am only 21 but I totally could relate to what she was going through. Even though I still have my whole life ahead of me I will happily admit that I have weekly breakdowns over what I'm going to do with my future. And I'm not the only one. My friend Holly said it best: "it feels like we're waiting to live." Now this may sound like a very depressing conversation but it is a true statement when you think about it. However, I'm going off track so I'll save that for the next blog. 

Anyway, Penny felt like she had not accomplished anything and that everything in her life had gone wrong. And this is a very realistic view of women and people in general. Especially people like me in their 20s. It's so easy to go along in life from one point to the next doing what you think you're meant to. Go to school, go to university, go out and get a job and work until you die. Before you know it, your life has been lived and you wonder where it all went. 

Penny was having this life crisis and there's nothing wrong with that. I feel like it is an accurate depiction of what people go through. She wants to be an actress and she isn't achieving it. Who wouldn't be upset? Your dreams aren't coming true. She also felt like she was stuck in a dead end job. How many people do you know that complain about their jobs? A lot I bet. 

It's ok Penny; we'll fail together.

And even though in real life 'Penny' is actually Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting a millionaire actress living her dreams that doesn't matter. Someone writes her character. Someone out there knows what it is like for some people and that makes me feel better. We are not alone because we are all struggling along together.

My next kindred spirit is 'Mindy Lahiri' on 'The Mindy Project'. She has a successful career as an OB/Gyn but her love life is a complete mess. True to life she doesn't have the whole package. She messes up and makes mistakes but at the end of the day she always does what she needs to to get by. She is smart, funny and sassy. She tells it like it is and has the kind of self-confidence that would make Beyonce look shy. 

We all know someone who fills this position in our life.

I can't begin to explain how much I aspire to be like her. She is feisty and she knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it. But she also has a lot of issues. Her life is far from perfect and that is what makes her such a realistic character. And I can't deny, the fact that she is not the 'ideal' size 0 figure makes her even more accessible to a young woman like me. It's nice to see a real woman going through real situations in a life that most of the time is complicated and messy. And for me it's not just the character. Mindy Kaling who plays the eponymous character not only created the show but also serves as an executive producer and writer on a majority of the episodes. She is smart, funny and sassy in real life. Plus, she's gorgeous with a killer wardrobe! She knows what makes good TV. And the way 'Mindy' is written is fabulous. 

She owns up to her faults and recognizes her flaws but somehow she owns them. She makes her flaws work in her favour until they almost become flawless. With regards to current female television characters; I wouldn't hesitate to say that she is one of, if not the ultimate TV role model for women. 


The last two I've discovered are more recent additions. 'Rosa' and 'Gina' from 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'. They are both feisty and straight-forward. Although Rosa could actually be considered more violent than anything:

Talk about rage against the machine!


Violent tendencies or not; Rosa is the type of person I think we all secretly want to be. She is independent, speaks her mind and knows how to kick ass! But she also has a heart and while it may not be shown in every episode, those rare times when Rosa does display emotions make her a very loveable character. And while you know she could break your wrist faster than the time it would take you to draw a breath; you can't help but want to be best friends with her. Or at least employ her as a bodyguard. 

And Gina. What to say about Gina? Easily one of my favourite television characters ever! She says what we're all thinking and sometimes what no decent human being should ever think. Narcissistic, egotistical and at times mean you can't help but adore her with every moment she's on screen. Her unbelievably bad work ethic and blunt attitude to life make her a stand-out character and someone who I would love to know. How could you not love someone who famously said: 

These characters have passed on traits to me through the TV screen and I love love it! I have recognized parts of them in me and it's nice to know that even if they are not real I have four amazing role models for life! If I could design a best friend it would be a combination of those four women in one person. Although maybe that would be too much fabulousness for the world. Either way, the next time you find yourself drawn to a TV character or wanting to base your life on them; remember it is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. After all, those characters were written by real people. So there are people out there who are just as quirky/strange/broken/messed-up/crazy/troubled/distraught/mean and just generally human as you. You are not alone. TV shows and characters bring people together. We can all relate to each other. And after all, what's more healthy than forgetting your own problems by burying yourself in a fictional world of make-believe?

Until next time,

Jeni x

  

Drunk in lust

Sup? So once again sorry for the non-existent blogging. I honestly have been very busy and you know all that other life stuff. You know! Ok I know you don't care.

So, I was talking to my friend Holly yesterday after she had been on a night out. Unfortunately she had been subjected to what shall now be referred to as 'drunk in lust'. What is this concept you ask? Well it's not a parody of the Beyoncé song if that's what you're thinking. It refers to that lovely time of night when you're trying to have a good time in the club with your friends and some guy thinks that because he's had a few beers and shots he can impress his little friends by going and feeling up a girl he hasn't even looked in the eye. The guys get drunk and their lust levels reach an all time high. You get the concept now? Now I'm not saying boys are the enemy. Some girls may love being grinded on from behind and having a boy pretend to slap her behind. My friend is not one of those people.

She was standing in the queue to get into the club. Let's call it 'marage'. Anyway she was standing in the queue and started getting hit on by an older French man. She politely refused but he wouldn't let it go.

He kept insisting and when she began ignoring him he pulled up her dress so everyone could see her underwear. Quite rightfully she was very angry and started cussing.

Now, this is the problem I have. Most men on nights out are fine. They are just out to have a good time like you. But then there are the ones who think being drunk is an excuse to say and do whatever they want. FYI boys, most girls don't enjoy a boy coming up behind them and pretending to have sex with them while they're trying to dance with their girlfriends. It just annoys me that some people feel their human rights extend to being able to touch up everything in a skirt.

It relly creams my corn!

I mean I know you don't go to clubs for intellectual conversations or to meet your life partner but it doesn't mean they should become breeding grounds. I mean not everyone wants to go to a club to find a hook-up for the night!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that It would be nice as a girl to go to a club and not worry that if I wear a dress creepy people are going to come up and try to lift it up or feel me up without my permission.

It bothers me that if you reject boys for giving you unwanted attention they try to act like you're some kind of freak!

So please any boys out there reading this take note: most girls like being respected. Most girls don't like being treated like sex objects. And most girls go to a club to have fun, not to stroke your ego or anything else.

Until next time,
Jeni x

Step away from the chocolate!

So hi. How have you been? Good? Good. Hope you had a nice Christmas. Oh, you went skiing in Aspen? Nice. Nice. OK! OK! I'm sorry. I know I haven't posted in ages and I'm sorry. And I know I said I would be better in my last blog post but we all need a new year's resolution to fail so this could be mine! Anyway...yeah. 

So Christmas and new year were great for me. Was spoiled rotten and still dating things as 2013 so all good so far. Just spent most of the holiday period with my family and catching up with a few friends and it was great! But as predicted all semblance of any kind of eating regime has dissipated into a dark abyss filled with chocolate, crisps and fried foods. 

Now I know Christmas is the one time of the year when you should be able to give yourself a break and eat what you want. And I have. But when it comes into the new year, you're meant to start getting back to normal. Trying to be fit and healthy (not that that's normal for me). And at this my friends, I have failed. Chocolate has been my main dietary supplement and now it's hard for me to go my days without just one little Ferrero Rocher. But alas, the time has come.

I have gone to the gym twice and it feels good. I'm actually willingly partaking in exercise which is a huge step forward. Although even if I had walked out to my garden and back again a choir would have started rejoicing. Yeah, I'm lazy. But since when did that become such a bad thing? Why is it wrong to not want to exercise. Why should I be made to feel domonized because I'm not worried that I have cellulite on my thighs (which I totally am by the way). But for argument's sake, let's say I wasn't. 

Anyway, that's a completely different issue. Basically I don't like doing things. But since going to the gym I've been feeling good. I'm doing something productive! And I've learned I do have muscles to tone. Who knew?! Anyway getting back to healthy eating is going to be a struggle...but it's the same every year. Hopefully anything you've planned to do you will accomplish too. After all 2014 is going to be what you make it! If you've set a goal do it! Good luck my friends. And I will post soon; I promise. Just don't hold your breath.

Jeni