What's wrong with wanting it all?

As a young woman (shivers at thought of being a woman and not a girl) I have lots of opinions. One of them is that I consider myself a feminist. I just really believe in equal rights and opportunities for women, not to mention I have a strong dislike of men, (I'm kidding! That was joke to test you. If you were offended...you failed). I am a feminist and not in the bad, man-hating sense that some people think it is. Are you kidding me? Men are GREAT. SERIOUSLY. We love you men. I remember when I first told someone I was a feminist and they looked at me like I was diseased. I felt ashamed, like it was the worst description you could give yourself.

As much as I love being a woman and I firmly believe that women should be treated equally, I love having doors held open for me, chairs pulled out before I sit down and if you hold my coat for me while I put it on, that would be amazing! Which fyi I totally would do all these things for men as well because, hey, gender equality.

This is where I'm torn. I know I can do these things by myself. But does accepting help from a man make me less of a feminist? Is it wrong to want to be treated the same as a man when it comes to career, love and sex but then want a man to carry my bag if it's heavy? 

And that brings me onto a whole other point. Some people feel that singers like Miley and Rihanna who are guilty of flashing skin and singing provocative lyrics (think this little gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DKdS6HFQ_LUc&has_verified=1) are being feminists because of the fact that they do what they want, they wear what they want and they sing about what they want. While others think they are disgraceful and shameful. To me, feminism is about women being able to do what they want as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights. So if they want to be openly sexual then what it wrong with that? Many male singers are openly sexual beings too! 

Singers like Ke$ha who have sung about sex a lot (another gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3taEuL4EHAg) are branded sluts and whores, while male rappers for example are praised for being "women magnets" and being able to stick their privates in a woman. (Apologies for crude imagery).http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y34jC4I1m70 It lacks poetry somehow, don't you think?

So what if a woman sings what a man does? Does that make it less sexist? Or is it even more sexist because it's someone degrading her own gender? But then it's not degrading at all because it's people singing about what they want to?? Feminism is such a dividing and confusing issue!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atHekn9KE18

What about marrying rich? If you want to marry a man because of his wealth so you can be looked after, does that make you less of a feminist. If you depend on a man for your money does that give people the right to treat you differently? To say you can't be a feminist or support women's rights: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ7wT4CUprQ

What about pornography? Does it degrade a women's character for her to make her living that way or does it make her a strong independent woman, who is confident with her sexuality? I mean, does it matter how a woman makes her money? If she's making her own money, regardless of her job, should that be all that matters? The fact that she only depends on her. God, I really want to link to Destiny's child 'Independent Women' right now but I'll resist the urge as the links on this post already are starting to pile up.    

The bottom line is when did wanting it all become such a bad thing? I'm not saying that it's possible but when did it become a bad thing to dream. And I'm not just talking about women who rely on their husbands/boyfriends for money. Even if you're a woman who's out there working everyday, earning money and supporting yourself because that's what you want to do shouldn't you still be able to have a man hold a door open for you or walk on the outside of the pavement. So basically, I ask what's wrong with wanting to be with a man who respects you, treats you equally but is also chivalrous? And women should treat their men with respect as well. I would always hold a door open for a a man and help men with things as much as I could. 

I'm not saying women should get preferential treatment because of their gender. I'm just saying we should all be equal. YAY! A novel concept! Not everyone will always agree with feminism and not everyone is going to agree with it. We have a bad rep. Like many social, political and religious groups a few bad eggs seem to represent the lot. Just as not all Christians are against gay marriage, not all feminists hate men.

Whether you label yourself or not, please support equality and spread kindness wherever you go.

Now enough of this sap! See you on the next post...